Autumn Sandeen.

So threatening those who dissent isn't enough.

Now those who dare to disagree with her are being banned, or sent warnings to step in line or suffer the consequences.

The joke is that it's all in the name of civility. The reality is, it's all in the name of obedience. White gay men make up something to be offended about, *on a trans forum*, and actual trans women are slapped down and burned by the so-called 'activist voice' that claims to speak for them.

Cissexual is now hate speech? It's fucking insanity.

Words fail me. i literally can't articulate much beyond that point right now. The arguments for it are so still-born they shouldn't even *need* to be countered. Have a peak at these 300 and growing responses. The situation is just bizarre.

i'm not sure if i'm being spanked or not, because Sandeen is too Big and Important of a 'new media reporter' to answer emails. But now i can only read posts, and not reply to any of them. It's almost as if the reply button has been disabled for me or something. i thought that maybe it was just a glitch, but it's been several days now.

Sure wished i could have responded to you, Lurleen. Good post on that idiot finally throwing in the towel here in our state.

Although the online T community is relatively new to me, i've been around forums before. And since i started reading PHB, things have felt odd there once and awhile. A *lot* of excessive praise seems to go on for Sandeen at certain moments, and with sentence structures that seem to pattern in similar ways. It's almost enough to make me dial up some old acquaintances and get some forced-ripped trace-routes going.

Of course, i'm just angry right now, and that's a lot of work. And maybe it wouldn't turn anything up. It would probably be a waste of time.

But then again, i am pretty angry.

A reasonable person would have the respect and courage to ask someone else to leave. Someone like Dyssonance, who clearly has nothing but passion and purpose for the community, deserves at least that much respect.

Banning someone like that who has a history of support is just the height of cowardice. Worse, you risk a backlash in several ways. Exodus is just one. Someone who might be prone to not go so quietly might decide to stay.

And with those kind of standing nails, good luck getting rid of them. Some of us are graduates of Alabama Tick School with honors.


The formula is tired. Ignore sycophants that get out of line. Make the rare appearance to slap down an Independent Mind. When things get out of hand, post a Grand Speech laced with Flowery Peace Quotes from some Famous Dead Person that is Universally Respected. When not speaking for others against their will, you're horribly and inappropriately applying the words of those who can't even protest.

Don't worry. Keep banning, and you'll reach that utopia where everyone swoons and no one questions you soon enough.

It's all so stupid.

Fable II.

Quite some time ago i actually found a video game i liked that *didn't* involve horrific survival horror against unrelenting hordes of maggot-infested walking dead.

i've given myself a bit of a rest from that stuff, since it started infesting my dreams. Which are unspeakably strange enough already.

Escapist fantasy thru pencil / paper/ dice games isn't really possible since i don't have any friends to speak of anymore, so this game has filled the void. It's just complicated enough to stay interesting, easy enough to not get frustrated, the soundtrack is *absolutely wonderful*, and, *and*, *AND*, you have an adorable dog. He follows you around and does tricks.

Did i mention he's adorable?


You can buy houses and remodel them with different furniture when not adventuring. There are countless clothes / outfits you can buy, endless hairstyles and tattoos, and even dozens of dyes to further customize your clothes and hair.

There are two download add-ons that have come out since release last year. While playing through one of them, i stumbled across a special, rare dye called 'Apocalyptic Pink'. After i picked myself up off the floor, i went to town.

i need help.

Your character slowly evolves in appearance, depending on the actions you take and how you behave in game. i ended up with a halo doing what i felt like doing. You can also marry and have kids, as well as engage in LGBT relationships if that's your thing. i couldn't find a man who *wasn't* a sniveling ass-kisser, so just for the hell of it i got my lesbian on and married a really bitchy British-sounding woman.

Kinda regretting it ever since.

Sex and violence are both depicted, and are interesting without being graphic. There's a strange, tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that pervades *everything* in the game. You don't even really have to hardly fight at all if you don't want to, and i don't. Most of the time i run around looking at the scenery, listening to the music and playing with my dog.

Truth be told, i hardly ever play video games. And when i do, it's not for long. But escape once and awhile is good. Lately i've been a little unstable, and anything helps.

Blind Praise.

Some celebrity pedophile dropped dead from a heart attack today.

There's a funeral ahead of me yet, so i'm still not having a very good week.

But i'll take what good news i can get.

Death.

We now have two funerals to attend this weekend.

My grandfather died.

It isn't one of those usual deals where i would go visit him once and awhile like most people do their own. i lived with him during my teen years. All other men in my life that i was supposed to look up to as a role model of 'how men should be' failed hard in many different ways. My grandpa was different.

He never effectively abandoned or left behind any children he had. He was the only one to never be physically violent with me. He gave everyone everything, from the shirt off his back, to the homes he had owned. He was kind, gentle, loving, and patience was his very soul. He took in and raised other people's children. He never said no to anyone in need of anything. And he did it with little-to-nothing in his pocket or in his name his whole life.

Others in the family rejected me after my transition in the ugliest ways you can imagine, and they did it with a bible in their hand. After some time spent praying over it, my grandfather not only defended me, he insisted i was only following their scripture as his god intended.

'If your eye or hand offends you, remove it from you'. Applied below the waist.

My boyfriend has a strong similarity to him, and it's one of the reasons i fell in love with him. My grandfather was the one and only example i have ever seen in my life of what Christ seemed to set forth in his philosophy. And now he's gone.

This has influenced my reactions online for the last few days, and i don't think i'm capable of retaining control anymore. i think it may have long since slipped already.

i'm going to go away for a little while now.

Murphy's Non-Binding Legal Assessment.

My employers have invented new ways to put pressure on me to quit. They have come up with all sorts of new procedures for me to follow, and have taken to constantly interrogating me about every little detail of my work, without any of the same changes or pressure being applied to those around me.

There has been a death in my boyfriend's family, and we will be attending the funeral this weekend. His mother says she expects me to attend, because she considers me family now. Most of them haven't even met me yet. It's the last way in the world it should happen, but i can't say no.

My car has died as well. The engine is blown, and getting it repaired would be more than the car is worth. She's got over 230,000 miles and is close to 20 years old, but i still don't know if i can let her go. i haven't decided what to do yet.

In an attempt to cheat the whole 'save endlessly for an enormous amount' method for my surgery, i am attempting to refinance my home to pay for it. And the appraisal is starting to look like it won't be nearly enough.

Clearly the only logical solution to all of this is to bake a cake.


The little ladies present are my kitchen bunnies collection.

Indecent Behavior.

Question for certain members of the LGBT crowd.

How do you expect to gain support for your cause among the general populace with the bizarre and / or deviant behavior you insist on demonstrating in public? i'm anything but an uptight prude, but there's a time and place for everything.

When you project all things hyper-sexual all the time, how do you expect to be taken seriously? By anybody other than those operating from that mindset?

Do you realize how much public image damage you few cause for the many around you?

The event organized here was stressed to be 'family friendly'. At what time did it seem appropriate for a few of you to dress and act the way you did?

i have never considered myself a part of LGBT, but through political sympathy as an atheist, i have supported them in any way i could.

If i had children, and they were present, like others there, i would have hit the roof at the exhibitionist freaks that seemed to delight in the disapproving attention they were getting. And the thing is, it's like this *every time*.

It shouldn't be a supporter's job to take these kind of people to task for the responsibility of their actions. It should be on the shoulders of those their actions most directly affect. But rather than do that, you laugh it off.

i'm not laughing.

The weekend at least got better from there.



My hair looks like crap because i haven't had it cut for two months. After a half dozen disasters, i won't let anybody touch it but my stylist, and she's gone on maternity leave.

The cat sanctuary operates off of donations only. It receives no regular funding whatsoever. The cats they take in have nowhere else to go, and would otherwise be killed.

Traffic Ticket and Bigoted Police.

A personal experience i had with a traffic ticket. It requires background.

Describing how out-of-control the police in this city are would take a whole blog within itself. Just in the last several years, there was the time they surrounded a cow that had got loose downtown, and then used multiple tasers to electrocute it to death. There's the sexual misconduct, the violent treatment of peaceful protesters demonstrating against them, crashing cars while chasing each other around bored in the middle of the night, stalking women outside their bedroom window, exposing themselves to women...actually, just google +"Spokane Police" +controversy and then read the next 1,700 links. Most people have the biggest problem with the handful of people they murdered. The last one to die was an innocent developmentally delayed man by the name of Otto Zehm. We have no police ombudsman, so the FBI got involved, and made a promise that justice would be served....over two years ago.

The ombudsmen council that we are about to get (after the police union fought tooth and nail to disallow) doesn't actually have any power to do anything. But they do come with leashes, mats to sit on in the corner of the room, and they do bark in annoyance. On command of the ones being investigated.

Said puppet theater was created with the last controversy, when a drunk, off-duty, gay police officer chased a gay Indian man down with his truck in the middle of the night, then on foot, firing at him several times and shooting him in the back of the head as he fled while screaming for help.

The recent court verdict against the police officer: innocent. Officers present in the court room erupted into cheers.

As far as personal experience goes, there was the time a large bear of a drunken man walked right into my apartment (at the time) in the middle of the night, and was convinced to leave when i stepped around the corner with a black, pistol-grip, shortened, single-barrel pump (there ya go, Nex!). When the cops showed up, they indifferently told me that if that 350lb man attacked me and i had shot him, be sure to drag him back inside if necessary and put a weapon in his hand.

i'm a 128lb t-girl, but sure. Will do, officer.

There was the time two little girls from next door came to my house crying, because the parents were fighting violently. After the cop showed up, i was calming the younger one down with one of my teddy bears. The officer got annoyed at the delay, and said 'come on kid, i don't have all night' as she huddled against me crying.

Now they have installed red-light cameras at certain intersections of the streets here. The rage this has given the libertarian mind-set is considerable.

Which brings me to my ticket.

i was sitting in the turning lane when the light went green. The double lanes to and from on either side of the intersection were clear. The first car in front of me turned, the second car in front of me turned, and by the time i was in the middle of the intersection, two teenagers had made their way through the crosswalk and were now stepping into the lane i needed to go through.

i stop in the middle of the intersection and wait for them, and they realize they have me trapped there, with no traffic coming in any direction. So as teenagers are prone to do, they slow to a snail-like shuffling crawl, inching their way across the street and giggling the entire time.

It's annoying, but i wait it out. They take so long doing it that the light cycles all the way through green, to yellow, to red. i'm not sure if the intersection now has a camera or not, so when the teenagers are clear i accidentally spin the tires out on my FWD in my haste to get clear of the intersection from a dead stop.

About two blocks down, lights and an unmarked cruiser.

i park and slide my window down, thinking 'no big deal...he must've heard my tires from around the corner and thought i was show-boating or something. i'll explain and be on my way'.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

He steps up to look down at me. "You care to explain what that was all about back there?"

i look up at him, and see that he's brimming with a bad attitude. i realize he's going to write me up for something no matter what, so i decide not to play the part of the pleading civilian in the face of one of our 'finest in blue' today. The conversation goes something like this.

Me: "It's obvious you've got an attitude about something. I'm not gonna sit here and beg you to let me go, so just get out of my face, go back to your little cruiser and write me the ticket."

Him: "I suppose you're one of those women who thinks they can drive however the hell they feel like it and get away with it, aren't you?

Me: "i suppose you're one of our cops that thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and get away with it, aren't you? Oh yeah, you can even in a court of law."

That launches him, and he starts yelling and stab-pointing to emphasize words with his finger.

Him: "He was declared by a jury of his peers! If you people have a problem with it, take it up with yourselves!"

i should note here that since the trial, it's been discovered that a 911 operator lied under oath, and evidence has been proven to be withheld and falsified by the police department.

He starts in some more and i interrupt him.

Me: "i don't want to hear it. Get out of my fucking face and go write the ticket.

He stops, wanting to continue and realizing he can't. "License and registration."

This is the part where i tell you that although living full-time for quite awhile, my new i.d. had been held-up for reasons beyond my control at that point. All i had was one several years out of date. i handed it to him. He takes a step away from the car glancing down at it, then stops in his tracks. He stoops a little to look at me, looks back at the i.d., looks at me, looks back at the i.d., then gets a sudden look even colder and harder than the one he had.

Yeah, officer. It's one of those. i'm fucked.

After writing the ticket, he walks back to my car and tosses it through the window, without even asking me to sign it. i glance at it wondering which he decided to go with, 'exhibition of speed' or 'running a red light while parked and waiting for two minutes'.

The result? 2nd Degree Negligent Driving. $550 fine. Infraction committed at 0 mph.

It was actually two offenses: 2nd Degree Mouthing Off, 1st Degree Transsexuality.

i decided to fight it to the end. The court declared it stupidity in the highest form on the part of the officer and tossed it out completely.

Guess i can afford those new heels now.